Strengthen Your Relationship To Thrive This Christmas
Rather than dread Christmas, Relationship Counselling can create stronger bonds to take on all the challenges that come with the festive and holiday season.
Consider your ratio of positive to negative interactions -
Is it anywhere near 5:1?
Our aim in Relationship counselling is not to stop conflict… it is more about being able to respectfully resolve it (with positive interactions) rather than experience unresolved issues and include defensiveness, stonewalling, criticism, or contempt (negative interactions). (Gottman Institute, 2016.)
If conflicts are not resolved, Relationship Counselling can support you through this.
Soft startups create an atmosphere where others will listen.
Only then can negotiation happen.
As our children grow into young adults their preferences change. How do we, as connected parents, express our changing needs and desires and consider theirs. How do we role model a difference of preference in front of our children and still reach a resolution. Catch the harsh start-ups and apologise for them – identify the reason your intensity level was high.
A way to a woman’s heart is through accepted influence.
Relationships grow when we accept influence from another. A way to a man’s heart might be through food but a way to a woman’s heart is through accepted influence. One person’s opinion or perspective or idea doesn’t always need to be challenged, corrected or rejected. What was last year’s Christmas day ‘really’ like for your partner? Be brave enough to grow and take on the ideas of the person you love.
If this is scary or foreign, Relationship Counselling can support you through this.
Turn towards each other, especially when frustration, anger, and tiredness wants you to turn away.
Take time to turn towards each other. With work Christmas parties, preparation shopping, kids on school holidays, Christmas is often on our doorstep before we know it, and before we have made time to check in with those we love the most.
Turning towards each other is hardest when you want to turn away but will actually create the strongest result in communication and understanding.
If this sounds like an impossible suggestion, Relationship Counselling can support you through this.
Big emotions on Christmas Day can be unwrapped with acceptance, gentleness and compassion.
Remember what really matters on your family day. If it is just the two of you or 18 of you, it is not the day to become so flooded with emotion you decide the relationship is over.
Sitting with you at the table is the enormity of the lead up to Christmas day (the already charged emotion). You do get to decide where to put it for the day, deal with it tomorrow, understand it tomorrow or today, approach it with acceptance, gentleness, and compassion. Today is not the day to attach ‘unsolvable’ to ‘understandable’.
If the emotional reactions are hard to tame, Relationship Counselling can support you through this.
New View Counselling and Support wishes you all love, laughs and connections in the lead up to Christmas. Do what you are comfortable with and be kind to yourself with loving compassion.
Remember your relationship with yourself comes first. If the big day doesn’t go to plan, there will be another one next year and you get to do it differently.
New View will be unavailable for relationship counselling appointments between Monday 19th December 2022 and Monday 9th January 2023.
