Schema therapy is an insightful way to consider our current challenges and beliefs (when they are a problem) and explore where they come from - when did these ideas develop - they formed to help you cope (this is the ‘schema’).

Schemas come from unmet needs from childhood and can be reinforced in subsequent significant relationships.

My clients are considering their own beliefs, noticing the maladaptive pattern and also finding reinforcement in the great job they are doing as parents by meeting the same needs, especially the needs they missed out on as a child.

Inspired by Russ Harris, it is so simple when we practice:

[1] Increasing awareness and allowing acceptance.

[2] Making a commitment to do something new, different, exciting, or to do nothing.

[3] The therapy is your own, you will realise you carry less burden and have more energy.

Our cognitions (our thoughts) drive our behaviour which creates a reactional response in our body as it is attached to a feeling or emotion. As we respond to the feeling we develop a thought…. and around we go again! Can we change our thoughts - oh yea!

I wish I came across Gottman when I met my husband and before I had children. Gottman provides understanding of how to keep a house solid from the foundations up. And even when things go wrong, there are respectful ways to resolve conflict and be stronger. Infact, they say the best relationships are not conflict free, they instead experience conflict recovery.

Our attachment style (the way we attach to others) can be formed from the way we were treated as a child or what we witnessed growing up. When we become aware of our attachment needs, we can identify triggers and emotions and learn how to understand and express them. Together, in relationships we learn to create safety to share them.

Narrative approaches respect your story! But instead of focusing on the problem parts we will find the exceptions, the moments when you solved and rose above the problems, and found the solutions when times were tough. We consider reauthoring your story to give you the momentum to look forward with hope and positivity. We can even include witnesses - those who will support, encourage and notice the amazing work you are doing.

Solutions focused therapy helps clarify what you want and work step by step, making achievable changes toward achieving it.

It is possible to be more informed as the result of trauma. Through compassionate connection we will ensure emotional and physical safety, establish interpersonal boundaries to increase trust and improve relationships and we will collaborate to understand and share power. We will explore situations where you have choice and control while ensuring your voice is heard and honoured. All the way along, your needs, goals and wishes direct our sessions.

Strengths, your strengths, are sometimes the hardest for you to identify when you are stressed, overwhelmed or frightened. It’s my job to remind you of the awesomeness that you already have, and soon you will catch those glimpses everyday.

Dialectical means talking. When talking to others is tough, we become anxious, sensitive (or triggered), or unable to resolve conflicts, we learn new skills to make communication easier and relationships stronger. How do you tell someone you disagree or you are uncomfortable or feeling oppressed… with practice, and I’m your practice mate!