Am I a People Pleaser?
Why do we put others needs before our own?
You have high expectations of yourself and have not experienced failure or need for adjustment or disappointing others, or
You had a parent, sibling or significant other you had to take care of, or
You grew up in an environment where self-sacrifice was praised or rewarded, or
You were taught to put other people’s needs above your own, or
You are sensitive to others and cannot tolerate your own guilt or disappointment of others.
People pleasing looks like
Saying yes to everything at the expense of yourself (fawning)
Giving more than you have energy for
Rehearsing what you say – to get it right
Over apologizing or over explaining
Checking in to see if people need more or different
Not asking for help
Struggling to accept help
Not sharing or speaking up
Not expressing your needs
People pleasing feels like:
Worrying and anxiety about what people think
Feeling resentful that relationships are not equal
Sadness from not knowing what you want
Loneliness from not feeling truly seen or valued
Not liking yourself – low self esteem
Loss of purpose and emptiness from not liking what you are doing
Chronic feelings of guilt if you take care of yourself
Frustration and lost direction from not knowing what you want
When we stop pleasing others and put ourselves first…
My true friendships deepen
I follow the career you want
I have accepted that alone time helps me feel good
I have found a relationship that fits me
I say what is true for me
I stopped being afraid of rejection
If there are many items above that were a ‘Yes, that’s me’ response, then Counselling can help understand your behaviour pattern and create sustainable change to live a richer life within secure relationships - with ourselves, our partner and our family. Too much explanation here, might not match your background, and I risk a typical ‘Dr Google scenario’. Share with me your story to better understand your relationship struggles or your underlying concerns for authenticity and pride with who you are.
